3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
