So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
