she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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