Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
