please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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