This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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