The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
