at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
