Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
