the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
