Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize