I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
