yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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