i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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