Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
