I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
