Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
