i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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