You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
