At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
