ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize