just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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