I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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