u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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