Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
