he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
nutella sex= disaster
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
