At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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