I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
