she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
