i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
