We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
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I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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