Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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