ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
