I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
