Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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