Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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