and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
