I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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