he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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