32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
