? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
