My friends, they love my intelligence
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
