You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He? As in you personified your dick?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
