I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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