if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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