i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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