He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
