38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize