So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
