god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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