yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
