O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize