WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize