Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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