I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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