Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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