Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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