i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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