i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize