Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
