D3 body, D1 cock
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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