I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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