She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wear drunk well.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
