My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
