Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
