The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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