you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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