i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
